Change

It's strange, but I didn't realize how much changed on that day that I graduated until today. Until I found myself, literally, pacing back and forth in my basement because I couldn't bring myself to do anything else. I am on the edge of something and I don't know if I want time to move forward or slow down. I know every moment is a gift, something precious. At the same time, what these next few days, weeks, years hold for me is constantly on the horizon, huge and yet unimaginable. What should I do? I need to pack. I need to clean my room. Get ready. I also need to go on facebook, check my email for the trillionth time today, watch tv, read my current book, plan for tomorrow. All these things on my list, but all I do is think about time. Time has become a mindset. If I want this week to go by quickly, it will. If I want it to be excruciatingly slow, it can be. But, what do I want?

I can say right now, and this will always be true, that I am so grateful for all of my friends and family. The biggest reason I want time to move faster is so I can go to my next dinner date with a friend or so my roommates will get to NYC sooner! Even though Cambodia is less than 2 weeks away, my mind is mostly focused on who I'm going to meet up with next. Maybe it's some strange coping mechanism, but I can picture very clearly holding hands and skipping through time square with Nandini, Nehal, Kerry, and Jess. I can't even describe how much I look forward to seeing everyone these next two weeks.